How we help

Help in unplanned pregnancy

What are the signs of pregnancy?

If you feel:

 

  • Nausea;
  • Dizziness;
  • Tender, swollen breasts;
  • Fluctuating mood;
  • Changes of taste;
  • Back pain;
  • Want to urinate more often;
  • Abdominal bloating, constipation;
  • Late menstruation;
  • Light bleeding or spotting;
  • Increased sensitivity to smells

 

But these symptoms may be characteristic not only of pregnancy. If you suspect that you might be pregnant, we recommend you take a pregnancy test. So, if, lately, you had sexual intercourse, your menstruation did not start as it should have and you are experiencing some of the listed symptoms, it is important that you take a pregnancy test. If the pregnancy test is positive, we recommend you see a gynecologist so that he could confirm or disprove pregnancy.

How can you help me?
Krizinio nėštumo centras can provide:
  • Individual psychological counseling and/or consultation concerning social issues.
  • Support and guidance during pregnancy and the child’s first 2 years.
  • Appointment with a gynecologist and an ultrasound.
  • Lawyer consultation.
  • Finding a safe temporary place for living.
  • Preparing a package of necessities for the baby.
  • Material and financial aid.
Don’t stay alone with your fears, call 8 603 57912 or write pagalba@neplanuotasnestumas.lt. Consultations are free and confidential.
Is your help free?

During pregnancy crisis, our help is free. It is provided by professionals and volunteers throughout Lithuania. We are ready to listen, understand and help you.

 

Call us  +370 603 57912 or email us pagalba@neplanuotasnestumas.lt

About abortion

The most common reasons for termination of pregnancy

There are various reasons why women are considering abortion.

 

Below are some of the most common ones:

 

-Wrong time;

-I’m not prepared to be a mom;

-Everybody offers me an abortion;

-My partner left me…

-I never wanted to have children with this man;

-I don’t want to be a single mom;

-I don’t deserve to be a mom;

-I’m ashamed, what would people think?

-I’m afraid of my parents reaction;

-I don’t work and have no income;

-I’m afraid I won’t be able to financially support my child, it’s very expensive;

-I don’t have where to live with my child;

-To have an abortion seems easier than to be pregnant;

-It is not a real child yet;

-The baby can be unhealthy;

-I have just given birth;

-My husband uses violence against me;

-I don’t want to keep abuser’s child;

-I don’t know where to ask for help, nobody will help me;

 

If you have recognized yourself in one of these situations, contact Krizinio nėštumo centras right away. Call +370 603 57912 or write to pagalba@neplanuotasnestumas.lt

 

We are always ready to help You! Free of charge and confidential help is available throughout all Lithuania.

How late in pregnancy can you have an abortion?

According to the Lithuanian law, by the request of a woman abortion can be performed until 12th week of pregnancy, and due to medical indications (in case of the threat to a woman’s life or certain fetal diseases) up to 22 weeks of pregnancy. The duration of pregnancy is calculated from the first day of the last menstrual period, and is specified by the ultrasonography.

Up to 6 weeks pregnancy can be terminated by outpatient treatment (in a private clinic or outpatient clinic), and pregnancy from 6 to 12 weeks by inpatient treatment (in the hospital).

What is an abortion?

Abortion is a spontaneous or artificial termination of pregnancy which results in the death of an unborn life (fetus, embryo). During abortion,  embryo / fetus is destroyed surgically or by other means.

Possible consequences of termination of pregnancy

Abortion, especially when stopping the first pregnancy, is often harmful to a woman’s health and can negatively affect her physical and mental condition.

 

Possible consequences to woman’s physical health:

 

  • infection, uterine perforation, bleeding, blood infection, death;
  • infertility;
  • the risk of breast cancer later in life
  • premature birth or miscarriage during the next pregnancy are more common.

 

Different women feel different feelings after termination of pregnancy. Sometimes it can be heard that a woman feels relieved after an abortion, but usually relief is just a primary, superficial reaction. Later, after a shorter or longer period of time, women may experience many negative emotions related to the abortion experienced.

 

Woman which had an abortion can feel:

 

  • Guilt for unsaved child;
  • Anger for herself and people who pushed her to make such a decision;
  • Shame ;
  • Collapse of relationships;
  • Feeling of loneliness;
  • Self-deprecation, feeling that she is not worth of happy life;
  • Sleeplessness and nightmares;
  • Anxiety;
  • Depression;
  • Eating Disorders;
  • Become prone to different stimulants (drugs, alcohol, etc.);
  • Emotional insensitivity to the surrounding environment;
  • Changing in sexual life – avoiding or feverishly searching for sex;
  • Changes in lifestyle – become workaholic or become unemployed;
  • Exaggerated concern over other children that she has;
  • Recurring abortion experiences;
  • “Anniversary” syndrome in which a woman’s emotional state can deteriorate significantly every year on approximate date of birth of a child or abortion date;
  • Thoughts about suicide;
  • Abortion can also contribute to subsequent mental health problems and psychosomatic symptoms in women, such as blood pressure disorders, blurred headaches, abdominal pain, etc.

 

Psychologically, abortion is a loss. Some women find this loss easier, others more difficult, yet the survival of this loss is sometimes complicated, because the grief remains unnamed and faceless – a woman does not see her child, so it remains unreal, and her/his death is invisible. However, this loss can be felt for a very long time and leave the consequences not only in the emotional world of the woman, but also in other areas of her life, such as difficulties in dealing with partner, complicating further sexual relations. The consequences of abortion can be felt during other pregnancies or when other children are born later.

 

Research has shown that psychiatric disorders often develop after abortion, and the risk of suicide increases several times. A study conducted in Finland revealed that women who had experienced abortion were six times more likely to have suicide than those who had chosen to give birth.

Does abortion affect couple and family relationships?

Paradoxically, women often choose abortion in order to preserve a relationship with a loved one, but not only does the relationship after the abortion not improve, but often worsens or even ends. Abortion does not strengthen couple’s relationship, but poses the daunting task of surviving bereavement in a constructive way. And not everyone is able to deal with this challenge. It is noticeable that some women who have had an abortion eventually develop a harder, less trusting relationship with men and may have difficulties in her sexual life.

The choice of abortion can often reveal discordance in couple’s relationship. There are cases, when woman experiences hormonal shock due to a sudden interruption of the natural physiological process (pregnancy), which can lead to persistent depression. She is no longer the same partner she used to be. In Sweden, a study on men’s response to abortion was conducted. Most men explained, that they’ve experienced mixed and conflicting feelings after the abortion: guilt, a sense of responsibility, relief, and grief over bereavement. A man’s anger, suffering, and guilt in failing to protect his child can include alcohol, drug or sedative use, self-isolation, workaholic behavior, and risky driving. This causes serious difficulties in the relationship and leads to conflict, divorce or infidelity.

It is often thought that abortion emotionally affects women exclusively and does not affect other family members. However, experiencing abortion affects the life of the entire family, both current and future members.

Studies have found evidence that earlier performed abortions can also affect the development of children who are born in the family afterwards. Prolonged mourning and the consequences of post-abortion syndrome can disrupt the warm and affectionate relationship between the mother and her child, which subsequently contributes to the child’s emotional and behavioral problems.

Abortion affects anyone who has contributed to the destruction of unborn life, the ones who have advised to have an abortion, a woman’s relationship with them, and also the medical staff that performed it.

It is important to seek professional help so that experience of abortion could not ruin the rest of your life.

The Crisis Pregnancy Center offers advice from competent professionals. If you are considering abortion or have experienced a pregnancy termination and cannot accept the consequences, we are here to help!

 

Please do not hesitate to call: +37060357912,

or write: pagalba@neplanuotasnestumas.lt

Alternatives

Abortion is never the only way out of your difficult situation. If you feel enforced, know that it is your right to choose, and no one has the right to put pressure on you, no one else can make such an important decision for you. But before you choose one step or the other, it’s important to know all the alternatives available:

 

  • Give birth and raise a baby. Some women during pregnancy do not have motherhood feelings, at first do not feel love for the baby in their womb, think that they are no ready to become mothers, however after giving birth to their child, a wide and positive spectrum feelings of love, care and desire to grow a baby appears.
  • Give birth and leave a baby safely in the hospital. You will have to write your consent so that your child could be adopted. Later it will be necessary to approve it in the court.
  • Give birth to a baby and leave it anonymously in “life window”. It’s a safe place to leave your baby if you don’t want your identity to be known. No one will seek you and will not ask for explanation, and the baby will soon have a new home and loving family of adoptive parents. There are many families in Lithuania that are waiting for a few years to adopt a newborn and raise it as their own. Within 3 months after leaving a child in “life window”, a mother has the right to ask to return her child, but it will be necessary to prove by DNA test that she is a biological mother, and that the rights of the child will be checked by the children’s rights specialists.
  • About 25 percent of pregnancies ends with spontaneous miscarriage, the most of them occur in the first 3 months.

 

 

If you do not know what decision to accept, it is very important to find someone who will listen to you. We understand that it may be extremely scary, but we are here to provide you with impartial, qualified assistance. You are the owner of your solution, but we can help you by listening to your fears and telling you what help our center can offer you.

 

Feel free to contact us, call +370 603 57912, or write pagalba@neplanuotasnestumas.lt

We can help you

If you are confused, depressed and do not know what to do or suffer from abortion, we offer you our help:

 

  • Individual psychological consultations;
  • Self-help groups for women who have had a pregnancy termination;
  • “Rachel’s Vineyard” retreat.

 

We provide free and confidential help throughout Lithuania. Don’t stay alone with your pain, contact Krizinio nėštumo centras. You can call +370 603 57912 or write pagalba@neplanuotasnestumas.lt

About Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat

Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat is a therapeutic two-and-a-half day program for a group of people experiencing emotional or spiritual pain after an abortion or miscarriage. It is an opportunity to move away from everyday responsibilities, to focus on thyself, all the experiences, to elicit and acknowledge suppressed feelings of anger, shame, guilt, mourning, and more. This is how the treatment of psychological and spiritual trauma begins. The program is designed to help participants experience God’s love and mercy as deeply as possible.

 

Volunteers who are deeply aware of the needs of the participants conduct the retreats. They are specially trained and have also participated in the program themselves. Many presenters themselves have experienced abortion.

 

Parents, mothers, grandparents, siblings of children who have died in abortion, and those who have been involved in abortion in one way or another, come to Rachel’s retreats in search of peace and inner healing. It’s a safe space to open your heart and be fully embraced. Retreats help participants discover peace and transform past pain into hope and love.

 

Rachel’s Vineyard retreats take place in many parts of the world. Since 2012 they started to be organized in Lithuania twice a year.

 

 

You can register by e-mail: racheles.vynuogynas@gmail.com or by phone: +37060053707 (Vilnius city), +37067575372 (Kaunas city).

About miscarriage/loss of a baby

How can I feel if I experienced early miscarriage?

Miscarriage is painful in any period of pregnancy, because the woman is already in contact with  her baby who is very close to her. Usually pregnant woman very quickly starts to realize herself  in a new way – in a relationship with her child. And suddenly it all stops. The more intense the relationship with a child is, the more painful the feeling of loss and mourning is, so it cannot be judged by weeks of pregnancy. Most of the miscarriages occur in the early stages of pregnancy and quite a lot of parents are experiencing loss.

 

Usually, loss of unborn child is complicated by misunderstanding of close ones, who believe that the reason for mourning is not so important. This forces the woman to close and avoid expressing her feelings. Close people are tended to “comfort” with similar phrases: “Nothing to do”, “It happens”, “It is good that now and not later”, “You will have other children”, “My girlfriend also experienced this”, etc.).  The woman is experiencing mismatch between what she feels and what others say. She may even question the normality and legality of her feelings and hence experience even greater emptiness and fear of opening up.

 

In the early stages of miscarriage, feeling of confusion is often accompanied by a strong sense of guilt: why is it me, is it my mistake, should I behave differently? Women analyze different situations and their behavior to smallest details, and are looking for evidence why it happened to them. This is very painful experience, so it might be very difficult to get out of this circle of blame alone.

Coping with grief after late miscarriage

Losing a baby in the third trimester or just after birth is particularly painful, as both a woman and the whole family are usually ready for a new family member. Baby layette is probably ready, name may have been picked, breast milk may have begun, and older children can’t wait to see their new sibling. The loss of the unborn child during this period is more evident, more noticeable externally, which is why a woman usually receives more sympathy from her loved ones, than she would experience after an early miscarriage.

 

Losing a baby at a late stage is extremely painful because it’s more unexpected, as a woman feels safer after considered the most dangerous period of the first trimester. The trauma is exacerbated if a woman has already felt baby’s movements. Loss in the later stages of pregnancy is even more severe because of the fact that babies born in the second half of pregnancy are buried by parents, which causes unbearable suffering.

 

A person in mourning experiences every emotionally significant loss. Mourning is a process that cannot be artificially accelerated. In the beginning, a woman (both parents) experiences shock, a sense of emptiness, a break from reality, an inability to believe what has happened, a denial of fact, or a protest. It is difficult to concentrate, take a realistic view of the situation or make a decision. It is a state of stagnation and helplessness, though there is a very contradictory emotion inside, which at any time can erupt in anger or accusation directed at doctors, the ‘wrong world’, God, ourselves. This first stage, shock and despair, is very debilitating. Later comes the realization that the baby is gone, but this is not reconciliation. Feelings of anger, blame, protest usually returns on baby’s due to be born, or on the anniversary of its death.

 

The next phase of mourning reveals it self as a strong longing, recurring memories from the time when a woman was still pregnant. Living as if in the constant witnessing of the event, but still returning to the past until that fateful day. A woman thinks a lot about the baby. While experiencing these two realities – past and present – causes a great pain, she is still trying to find the reason, the culprit in her environment or she blames herself. She becomes conflicted and experiences a very contrasting emotion, ranging from anger to apathy. Therefore, she unconsciously struggles with a sense of loneliness and futility.

 

It is a painful time of searching of the point of the internal support, which is crucial in woman’s ability to move forward. At this stage, a woman may also develop various psychophysical disorders: insomnia, headaches, appetite and heart rhythm disorders. Some women try to compensate the sense of futility they experience by thinking about a new pregnancy, and thus discovering the meaning. Others, on the contrary, are afraid to even consider such an opportunity.

 

At a later stage of overcoming the loss, a woman is fully aware of the reality of her loss. No more illusions. It is like capitulating, acknowledging that reality is as it is. During this period, she may experience a variety of morbid states of sleeplessness, depression, sensation of meaninglessness, loss of any activity, a strong desire to isolate, shut herself down and avoiding others to enter her inner world and, often, her outer world either. Signs of depression may develop and various psychophysical disorders may intensify. The more woman receives support and understanding in the family, the more secure she feels in overcoming all stages of failure.

 

Often, the help of professionals is also needed, whereby a woman gradually begins to regain her ability to see the situation in real life, rebuilding emotional relationships and relationships with those around her. Moreover, a woman usually discovers a new relationship with the unborn child, transforms her memories about it. Therefore, it is very important not to run away from pain, not to stifle it within yourself, but to live it, mourn it, cry it out, talk it out, share pain with others, and talk to a psychologist about it too.

Constantly returning to a difficult experience and expressing it helps to relieve the pain and make it easier to reconcile. There are families who share their experience with other families that have also survived the pain of losing their child. It is also very important in the healing process to choose a name for a baby, commemorate during its birthdays.

How long my pain can last?

Every woman, every family goes their own way and at their own pace. This depends on many circumstances. Usually, the pain-relieving cycle lasts about two years, but in some cases it may last longer. It is very important that the pain would be fully mourned and the development of pathology prevented.

We can help you

If you experienced miscarriage or loss of a baby and still suffer, Krizinio nėštumo centras can help you by offering:

  • Individual psychological consultations;
  • Self-help groups for women who have had a pregnancy termination;
  • “Rachel’s Vineyard” retreat.

 

We provide free and confidential help throughout Lithuania. Don’t stay alone with your pain, contact Krizinio nėštumo centras. You can call +370 603 57912 or write pagalba@neplanuotasnestumas.lt

About Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat

Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat is a therapeutic two-and-a-half day program for a group of people experiencing emotional or spiritual pain after an abortion or miscarriage. It is an opportunity to move away from everyday responsibilities, to focus on thyself, all the experiences, to elicit and acknowledge suppressed feelings of anger, shame, guilt, mourning, and more. This is how the treatment of psychological and spiritual trauma begins. The program is designed to help participants experience God’s love and mercy as deeply as possible.

 

Volunteers who are deeply aware of the needs of the participants conduct the retreats. They are specially trained and have also participated in the program themselves. Many presenters themselves have experienced abortion.

 

Parents, mothers, grandparents, siblings of children who have died in abortion, and those who have been involved in abortion in one way or another, come to Rachel’s retreats in search of peace and inner healing. It’s a safe space to open your heart and be fully embraced. Retreats help participants discover peace and transform past pain into hope and love.

 

Rachel’s Vineyard retreats take place in many parts of the world. Since 2012 they started to be organized in Lithuania twice a year.

 

 

You can register by e-mail: racheles.vynuogynas@gmail.com or by phone: +37060053707 (Vilnius city), +37067575372 (Kaunas city).

About postpartum depression

Maternal sadness?

Most women could remember the first few weeks after childbirth: happy faces, healthy baby, birth giving went smoothly. Nevertheless sometimes woman can feel not well at all, she may cry, yet feel like no one understands her.

About two-thirds of birth giving women experience symptoms of mild depression (also known as maternal sadness), such as fatigue, irritability, depression, unexplained crying attacks, and increased anxiety. The onset of symptoms usually begins several days after birth. These ailments can continue for about two weeks or reveal as brief episodes. Such condition erupts unexpectedly and disappears suddenly too, but if all of these symptoms persist more then for two weeks, you must reach for help and see a specialist.

Postpartum depression

About one in eight women, who have given birth, have a long-term depression, a recognized illness – condition, known as a true postpartum depression.

 

Some of the symptoms are characterized by:

 

  • Excessive anxiety about baby’s health condition or vice versa, reduced interest in child;
  • Feelings of guilt, inferiority;
  • Loss of libido;
  • Various anxieties (thoughts and actions);
  • Insomnia;
  • Constant feelings of sadness and despair;
  • Lack of strength and motivation;
  • Alienation from loved ones.

 

Postpartum depression requires professional help.

CAUSES OF POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION

Causes of PD occurrence are diverse. Impacts have genetic, social factors, stress and emotional state of a woman. We distinguish two main groups of causes: physiological and psychological. Physiological causes include changes in female sex hormones, malnutrition and vitamin B deficiency, persistent fatigue and insomnia. Psychological causes include changes in focus (everyone around is focused on the baby, not the woman), excessive demands, disappointment with childbirth or woman herself, disappointment in woman’s appearance, or with the appearance of a baby (it’s not even close to a smiley baby in ad), regret of a new role in life (new responsibility, life rhythm change).

HOW TO OVERCOME POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION
  • Don’t blame yourself for doing something wrong that could cause the condition. It just happens and it is quite common.
  • Take care of yourself. If a mother does not take care of herself, she will not be able to take care of her child either. Take time for yourself, think of a nice activity you would enjoy, and you will lift your mood a bit.
  • Use every opportunity to rest. Take a nap when your baby is sleeping. Resting well – first, housework can wait.
  • Use simple relaxation techniques, such as listening to a quiet music. Relaxation techniques and breathing exercises help a lot.
  • Talk about your feelings and struggles. It is worth to share about your emotional state to someone you trust. Sharing with other moms helps a lot, especially in the self-help groups.
  • Don’t shut yourself away from your partner, the proximity in the couple is especially important in this difficult time.
  • Ask and accept the help of your loved ones, as it does not show your weakness; moreover, people feel good when they are needed and being useful.
  • Get professional help and you will feel the relief. This condition is illness and there are qualified specialists who can help you.

 

 

Do not hesitate to write or call: pagalba@neplanuotasnestumas.lt, +37060357912.